I guess if people wanted to see pretty people who change identities based on the current situation and unlikeable jackasses bring about the apocalypse, they would get into politics.
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Everyone's lost but me!
03 December 2009 @ 03:56 pm
I'm a bit tired of hearing speculation on who's going to play Captain America. It's understandable... after all, Thor has cast the goat that's going to play Beta-Ray Bill and Captain America is still calling itself "The First Avenger." But people... Brad Pitt? Leonardo DiCaprio? And let's try to forget the suggestion of Will Smith.
Obviously, I'm going to have to solve this problem myself. Cap looks like this, right?
Okay, what does Karl Urban look like?
You're welcome.
And don't give me any gruff about acting. The man played the part of Leonard McCoy by physically becoming DeForest Kelley. He can handle "patriotic as fuck."
Obviously, I'm going to have to solve this problem myself. Cap looks like this, right?
Okay, what does Karl Urban look like?
You're welcome.
And don't give me any gruff about acting. The man played the part of Leonard McCoy by physically becoming DeForest Kelley. He can handle "patriotic as fuck."
03 December 2009 @ 11:42 am
Title: Where To Find Intimacy If You Don’t Have A Map
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,672
Characters/Pairings: Richard/Kahlan
Author’s notes: Takes place after 2x04 - Touched.
Summary: Just because they can’t touch doesn’t mean they can’t be together.
( There was this flighty sensation she got every time it looked like they could be together, one she inevitably had to crush, and she had come to hate that groundless feeling as much as she loved it. She got it now. )
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,672
Characters/Pairings: Richard/Kahlan
Author’s notes: Takes place after 2x04 - Touched.
Summary: Just because they can’t touch doesn’t mean they can’t be together.
( There was this flighty sensation she got every time it looked like they could be together, one she inevitably had to crush, and she had come to hate that groundless feeling as much as she loved it. She got it now. )
02 December 2009 @ 04:51 pm
If you found a way to make a dress that could "strain to contain the breasts" and "barely cover the ass" of any woman, you'd make a mint in the world of an erotic fanfic.
02 December 2009 @ 02:26 pm
Title: Ultima Ratio Regum
Fandom: Merlin BBS
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,339
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Morgana, Morgana/Nimue, Lancelot/Gwen
Author's note:![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
snarkydame betaed this. She's shiny! Assumes familiarity with season one.
Previous Part: Chapter 4
Summary: Merlin meets the enemy. And is very, very scared by it.
( She chain-lit another cigarette and sat down across from me. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced. Agent Morgana Fey, FBI.” )
Fandom: Merlin BBS
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,339
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Morgana, Morgana/Nimue, Lancelot/Gwen
Author's note:
snarkydame betaed this. She's shiny! Assumes familiarity with season one.Previous Part: Chapter 4
Summary: Merlin meets the enemy. And is very, very scared by it.
( She chain-lit another cigarette and sat down across from me. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced. Agent Morgana Fey, FBI.” )
01 December 2009 @ 12:03 pm
Seen at a kink meme...
arthur/merlin, some arthur/gwen/merlin. modern au. arthur and gwen are in a realtionship. gwen talks him into inviting a man to join them for a threesome--just once, she says. arthur reluctantly agrees, but says that he won't actually touch him(arthur is straight). gwen invites merlin. to his surprise, arthur finds himself attracted to merlin(and vice versa). what starts as a threesome turns into merlin/arthur. gwen is forgotten.
Why not just ask for some Arthur/Merlin, if that's what you want? Why does Gwen have to be cuckolded and humiliated? Why can't we all just get along?
arthur/merlin, some arthur/gwen/merlin. modern au. arthur and gwen are in a realtionship. gwen talks him into inviting a man to join them for a threesome--just once, she says. arthur reluctantly agrees, but says that he won't actually touch him(arthur is straight). gwen invites merlin. to his surprise, arthur finds himself attracted to merlin(and vice versa). what starts as a threesome turns into merlin/arthur. gwen is forgotten.
Why not just ask for some Arthur/Merlin, if that's what you want? Why does Gwen have to be cuckolded and humiliated? Why can't we all just get along?
01 December 2009 @ 11:42 am
But I do not promise there won't be Legend of the Seeker smut fic while I procrastinate the votes are tallied.
Poll #1492964
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 49
Poll #1492964
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 49
What porn should I write next?
View Answers
Peter/MJ, MC2: After the accident, Peter's insecure about his condition, worried Mary Jane won't find him attractive with just one leg. She proves him wrong.
3 (6.1%)
Somehow a Steve/Tony sex tape appears in the living room of The Avengers, who watch it offering critical comment, while Tony and Steve are there, trying to remove the tape. (This wouldn't be sexy tiem so much as crackfic, natch) 7 (14.3%)
Harley Quinn / Poison Ivy / Batgirl. They take Batgirl and themselves shopping for the naughtiest clothes and lingerie their horny minds can imagine. Then they have fun stripping and sexing. ("Traffic jam.") 7 (14.3%)
Wonder Woman/Io- Io has an erotic dream about Diana, only to have the princess show up unexpectedly at her forge. Sexy times ensue. 3 (6.1%)
Mr. Sarcastic identity pr0n. I'm not bothered who with (Suggestions in comments! No m/m, since OLD MEME), but Tim had a filthy mouth as Mr. Sarcastic, and we all know how far the bats take their secret identities. 2 (4.1%)
Big Barda/Mister Miracle - fun with her mighty mega-rod. 1 (2.0%)
Cheetah/Giganta/Donna or Diana - Supervillian team-up 2 (4.1%)
Starfire/Power Girl - Sometimes it's nice to be noticed for something other than the obvious. 3 (6.1%)
Harley Quinn / Poison Ivy / Catwoman. Harley sometimes wears nothing but a shirt, Ivy no more than leaves; Selina decides a little time out of the catsuit couldn't hurt. Sex on the couch. 6 (12.2%)
Wonder Woman/Big Barda/Huntress- Diana showing the other two how to work as a team 3 (6.1%)
Peter/MJ/Felicia - Peter and MJ are christening their new apartment when Black Cat stops by to watch. When only Peter notices her due to his position, Felicia puts on a show. MJ likes his enthusiasm, until Felicia decides she should join in. 3 (6.1%)
Power Girl, girl of your choice, pink kryptonite double dildo, and the line "I'm more than just a big pair of breasts. I've got a great ass too!" 3 (6.1%)
Poison Ivy + tentacles/Superboy - Poison Ivy decides to use her new friends to play with Kon. 1 (2.0%)
Dick/Barbara/Dinah - Dinah helps Barbara ride the sybian while Dick watch them. 2 (4.1%)
Artemis/Diana - them two together would be bound to have the occasional all-hell-breaks-loose fight, so argument leads to sex or makeup sex later 3 (6.1%)
30 November 2009 @ 06:36 pm
30 November 2009 @ 12:46 pm
Yay genderform.
It's probably intolerant to make fun of this, but then I reached this part...
"I will not attempt to define all these terms, since no English words could do any of them justice. The exact meaning of each one is undefinable, and there probably isn't an exact meaning anyway, since some of these even differ among people. Similarly, I've included a lot of words that could be considered synonyms; the connotations of each term, however, are slightly different, and some people may identify with one and not another."
and saw that both "trannyboy" and "trannyboi" are options. Guys (or, um, ladies?) if your gender identity hinges on whether boy is spelled with a Y or an I, I JUDGE YOU.
( Other failure... )
It's probably intolerant to make fun of this, but then I reached this part...
"I will not attempt to define all these terms, since no English words could do any of them justice. The exact meaning of each one is undefinable, and there probably isn't an exact meaning anyway, since some of these even differ among people. Similarly, I've included a lot of words that could be considered synonyms; the connotations of each term, however, are slightly different, and some people may identify with one and not another."
and saw that both "trannyboy" and "trannyboi" are options. Guys (or, um, ladies?) if your gender identity hinges on whether boy is spelled with a Y or an I, I JUDGE YOU.
( Other failure... )
28 November 2009 @ 08:49 pm
Yay Flynn is gone! Never liked that guy. He actually got some good lines this episode, but then, when you introduce a character stealing from concentration camp victims, the only way to go is up. In other news…
( Spoilers! )
( Spoilers! )
28 November 2009 @ 06:42 pm
No, "Ninja Assassin" is not a "Japanese film". But yes, it is in English.
Current Mood: Sigh...
27 November 2009 @ 09:12 pm
Cons: EVERYTHING.
Pro: At work, if some kids are bothering me while I'm trying to ring up an order or do some paperwork, I can just say "You might wanna stay back, I have the swine flu" and watch the mom hustle them off like she just called in an air strike.
Pro: At work, if some kids are bothering me while I'm trying to ring up an order or do some paperwork, I can just say "You might wanna stay back, I have the swine flu" and watch the mom hustle them off like she just called in an air strike.
27 November 2009 @ 09:36 am
Title: Ultima Ratio Regum
Fandom: Merlin BBS
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,255
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Morgana, Morgana/Nimue, Lancelot/Gwen
Author's note:snarkydame betaed this. She's shiny! Assumes familiarity with season one.
Previous Part: Chapter 3
Summary: Morgana’s changed a lot since Camelot fell.
( Morgana woke up past seven, an hour shy of her routine, drenched in sweat, her mind buzzing with electric thoughts. She’d dreamt of Gwen. She hadn’t even thought of her old maid… her old queen… for decades. But this dream had been so vivid that if she didn’t know better, she’d think it was a vision. But that was ridiculous, of course. She hadn’t had a vision in eons. There’d been nothing worth Seeing. )
Fandom: Merlin BBS
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,255
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Morgana, Morgana/Nimue, Lancelot/Gwen
Author's note:
snarkydame betaed this. She's shiny! Assumes familiarity with season one.Previous Part: Chapter 3
Summary: Morgana’s changed a lot since Camelot fell.
( Morgana woke up past seven, an hour shy of her routine, drenched in sweat, her mind buzzing with electric thoughts. She’d dreamt of Gwen. She hadn’t even thought of her old maid… her old queen… for decades. But this dream had been so vivid that if she didn’t know better, she’d think it was a vision. But that was ridiculous, of course. She hadn’t had a vision in eons. There’d been nothing worth Seeing. )
25 November 2009 @ 07:27 pm
25 November 2009 @ 10:29 am
No, don't skip this, plebeians who have not yet experienced the awe and majesty of Legend of the Seeker. There will be Barda. And lesbians. Oh, yes, I thought you'd be sticking around.
So I'm sure many who've watched LotS have wondered "Where does Terry Goodkind get his ideas?" As have those who've read the books, although they're more like "Jesus Christ." But the question remains. Ideas. Terry Goodkind's. Where do they come from?
Besides that!
For instance, in LotS, the evil Darken Rahl commands a force of bisexual dominatrix assassin women, one of whom turns good. Coincidentally, in DC comics, the evil Darkseid commands a force of (occasionally) bisexual dominatrix (occasionally--Lashina FTW) assassin women, one of whom turns good.
Could it be that the Female Furies and the Mord'Sith are the same? Let's examine some compelling and sexy photographic evidence.
( Not safe for work or non-awesome. )
So I'm sure many who've watched LotS have wondered "Where does Terry Goodkind get his ideas?" As have those who've read the books, although they're more like "Jesus Christ." But the question remains. Ideas. Terry Goodkind's. Where do they come from?
Besides that!
For instance, in LotS, the evil Darken Rahl commands a force of bisexual dominatrix assassin women, one of whom turns good. Coincidentally, in DC comics, the evil Darkseid commands a force of (occasionally) bisexual dominatrix (occasionally--Lashina FTW) assassin women, one of whom turns good.
Could it be that the Female Furies and the Mord'Sith are the same? Let's examine some compelling and sexy photographic evidence.
( Not safe for work or non-awesome. )
25 November 2009 @ 08:57 am
So I don't know what it is, but recently, my dreams stopped being the usual non-memories and random bullshit to take a shot of awesome.
1. Night before last, I have a dream that my brother dies in a shark attack. Depressing, non? So I'm picking up the pieces and such when I go to his computer and type in his password. He's left a document open that's basically "what to do in case they get to me." Yes, it's a pretty standard revenge plot opener, but dude... whoever did it, they have sharks. Everything's better with sharks.
2. Last night, I dream I'm playing Poker... with the Devil. How metal is that? It brings up all sorts of questions of why am "I" playing Poker with the Devil. Is it to get back something I lost, is it to redeem myself for some deal my parents made before I was born (In-dream, to father: "Thanks for sacrificing my soul to the Prince of Lies. *thumbs-up*" I'm glad to know that I can keep a proper perspective about these things), is it because we're all angels (lame!)? You must admit it, it's pretty cool to try to psyche Satan. "So, this morning, when you woke up between Hitler drowning in a pool of feces and Stalin roasting on a pit of coals, did you wonder 'was it worth it?'"
(Best 'ho shit' line I've come up with while unconcious: "I play the Devil in a week. So, who wants to teach me how to play Poker?")
1. Night before last, I have a dream that my brother dies in a shark attack. Depressing, non? So I'm picking up the pieces and such when I go to his computer and type in his password. He's left a document open that's basically "what to do in case they get to me." Yes, it's a pretty standard revenge plot opener, but dude... whoever did it, they have sharks. Everything's better with sharks.
2. Last night, I dream I'm playing Poker... with the Devil. How metal is that? It brings up all sorts of questions of why am "I" playing Poker with the Devil. Is it to get back something I lost, is it to redeem myself for some deal my parents made before I was born (In-dream, to father: "Thanks for sacrificing my soul to the Prince of Lies. *thumbs-up*" I'm glad to know that I can keep a proper perspective about these things), is it because we're all angels (lame!)? You must admit it, it's pretty cool to try to psyche Satan. "So, this morning, when you woke up between Hitler drowning in a pool of feces and Stalin roasting on a pit of coals, did you wonder 'was it worth it?'"
(Best 'ho shit' line I've come up with while unconcious: "I play the Devil in a week. So, who wants to teach me how to play Poker?")
23 November 2009 @ 11:22 pm
22 November 2009 @ 02:05 pm
So as some of you may know, according to lore, Jack Kirby was inspired to create the look of Big Barda by a Playboy spread on Lainie Kazan (yes, the grandma from My Big Fat Greek Wedding). Yes, Playboy gave us Big Barda. Top THAT, Jerry Falwell.
So anyway, here is said Playboy spread, photographic trufax evidence of what Barda would look like naked. Forthcoming: Conclusive proof that the Mord'Sith == Darkseid's Female Furies.
( NSFW. Awesomely. )
So anyway, here is said Playboy spread, photographic trufax evidence of what Barda would look like naked. Forthcoming: Conclusive proof that the Mord'Sith == Darkseid's Female Furies.
( NSFW. Awesomely. )
21 November 2009 @ 01:57 pm
Q: So what the Forks is up in fuck?
A: I think you mean… never mind. Edward is still sparkling and Bella is having nightmares about growing old while Edward is still young and Cedric Diggory-ish.
Q: What brought that sudden bout of mortality on? A death in the family?
A: No, she just turned 18.
Q: And she wants to be frozen at that age forever? Does she want to spend the rest of eternity being carded for movies and beer?
A: As if Bella Swan watches R-rated movies or drinks beer. Plus, she gets to fuck Robert Pattinson if she’s a vampire.
Q: What would happen if that offer was real?
A: Teenage Girl Vampire Apocalypse. Like the I Am Legend movie, only better in every conceivable way.
Q: Okay, so Bella wants to be young and hot forever and, incidentally, be Edward’s sex bunny.
A: That’d be the subtext.
Q: So, what’s the problem? Is Edward worried that becoming a vampire means Bella would have to give up her family, friends, and any hope of a normal life?
A: No, that it would damn Bella’s soul. Of course, she doesn’t care, because since when do women let a little eternal damnation stand in the way of hot dickings?
Q: Represent. So, how’s it all tumble out?
( Spoilers. As if you care. )
A: I think you mean… never mind. Edward is still sparkling and Bella is having nightmares about growing old while Edward is still young and Cedric Diggory-ish.
Q: What brought that sudden bout of mortality on? A death in the family?
A: No, she just turned 18.
Q: And she wants to be frozen at that age forever? Does she want to spend the rest of eternity being carded for movies and beer?
A: As if Bella Swan watches R-rated movies or drinks beer. Plus, she gets to fuck Robert Pattinson if she’s a vampire.
Q: What would happen if that offer was real?
A: Teenage Girl Vampire Apocalypse. Like the I Am Legend movie, only better in every conceivable way.
Q: Okay, so Bella wants to be young and hot forever and, incidentally, be Edward’s sex bunny.
A: That’d be the subtext.
Q: So, what’s the problem? Is Edward worried that becoming a vampire means Bella would have to give up her family, friends, and any hope of a normal life?
A: No, that it would damn Bella’s soul. Of course, she doesn’t care, because since when do women let a little eternal damnation stand in the way of hot dickings?
Q: Represent. So, how’s it all tumble out?
( Spoilers. As if you care. )
20 November 2009 @ 12:26 am
Why is it that whenever someone says "I appreciate your enthusiasm," my enthusiasm feels oh so very unappreciated?